You may be saying to yourself: “where has Jess been again?” I know it’s been almost a month since I’ve posted but honestly some days I just didn’t feel inspired OR I was just inspired by the message of today’s post. Also, I rather be genuine and post when ever I feel inspired and motivated to be genuine to you guys and gals rather than to stick to a “schedule”. So let me start today’s post as I got the unintended disclaimer out of the way.
I tend to be stuck having this mentality: thinking about the “good old days” or worrying about “what’s going to happen next?” with the future. I never thought about the present even less enjoy it. I never took the time to appreciate the now, that one that God/universe has given me. The present where I have everything I need right now. I then started to think, if I have everything I need now, why don’t I just enjoy it? And honestly, this mentality has been SO GREAT for my anxiety. Like I honestly feel like my brain has shut up a little lol and anyone who deals with anxiety knows that’s a BIG deal.
The past can’t haunt me if I don’t let it
Live and learn and never forget it
Whoa, gotta learn to let it go
In my last post, I alluded to how my life is changing all around me, and it is. And in the beginning, I was too scared to acknowledge it, because I didn’t want to let go of the past. But at one point it became too hard to hard to hold on. I had learned all the lessons I needed to at that time and will bring them into the future. But the master lesson? The lessons of all lessons: learning to let go.
I had accepted that I needed to let go so I shifted my focus to the purpose . Like what was the purpose of the things happening in my life right now? Honestly, even THAT became too much for me and my mental health. Yes, I noticed things were changing, but I kept thinking about the long term outcome. Now I was worried about the future meanwhile life was still changing around me so it was a mental race in my head to try to understand it all. My anxiety was rising again with this way of thinking I was adopting. Every single second I kept thinking: “well what does this mean?” and that became too much for me and was becoming SUPER unhappy.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when it happened, but my mindset shifted once again. I started to think: why am I getting anxious if everything is happening when it’s supposed to? Why am I trying to keep up or think a step ahead of life? Why can’t I just cool down and enjoy life? Everything right now is happening for a reason, why don’t I just enjoy what is happening right now and then God/the universe will take care of the rest. After all, they are the higher power right?
And OMG IT HAS BEEN GREAT! I’m enjoying what I want to do at the moment and not thinking about the next step again. As long as I’m open and honest with myself and others, my present will be okay, I will be okay. Like don’t worry about the purpose, just know when sh*t hits the fan, then you will take the lessons you’ve learned before and learn from them. Life is about making mistakes. It’s not about making it perfect or trying to understand everything because it will actually make you insane like I was trying to do. You will figure out things when you need to but right now, this present of yours and it isn’t going to happen again but its happening for a reason! Like, I find that beautiful and more meaningful than being sad about the past or stressed about the future. Like I said before, let the higher powers take care of that. You are here, you are now. Don’t let your anxiety take over otherwise. I’m telling you, my brain has been quiet. MY ANXIOUS/OVERTHINKING brain has been quiet since I’ve started to enjoy the present. Again, you’re gonna have your bad days, but remember it’s only temporary. But also, if you catch yourself worrying or reminiscing , it’s okay! You haven’t back tracked on your progress.
Can I just say I feel/been MUCH happier since I’ve adopted this way of thinking. People have seen me and have told me: you look happier. And honestly, that comment means more to me than anything. Because yeah, you can fake it until you make it, but being genuinely happy just takes everything to a whole other level. Enjoying life, being happy, being confident is what I’ve been asking for a while now. I think what makes this progress a little more special for me is that I’ve done it mostly alone. Sure, I have people in my life but I haven’t changed for them or because of them. My confidence is boosting for me, my happiness is boosting because of myself. So whatever makes you happy and makes life full to you, then go for it! Whether it be a can of soda, a photoshoot at a sunflower field, going on a d**e, just do it. As long as you’re not hurting others and being honest with yourself, what’s so wrong with enjoying life? Why can’t we enjoy the present that we are being given?
So let’s agree to not be sad about the past or worry about the future. If it makes you and I less stressed and less anxious let’s embrace it (as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone of course). I feel like this is what I’ve been needing for a LONG time and I hope someone out there can feel the same way as I do.